Love Notes

There are seasons when trusting God feels easier than others.

And then there are seasons when every dollar matters.

For the past several months, our family has been living very much paycheck to paycheck. It is a season that I know is coming to an end, but we aren’t quite there yet. And when you’re living that way, you know where every dollar is going. There isn’t much room for surprises.

Recently, I was expecting some additional income from work. Because of a misunderstanding about the timing, I thought I would receive it earlier than I actually would.

Ordinarily, this wouldn’t matter very much.

This time, it did.

I found myself doing the calculations in my head. I had enough gas to get to work one more day. After that, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.

I knew there were options. I could talk to my boss. I could talk to my husband. I could ask someone for help. There were things I could do.

But before I did anything, I wanted to pray.

On the drive home, I talked to the Lord about all of it.

Lord, I don’t want to be anxious about this.

I know You love us. I know You care about the details of our lives. I know You already know what we need long before we realize we need it.

But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

Sometimes faith requires action. There are times when God calls us to get up, make the phone call, have the conversation, ask for help, or take the next step.

And sometimes He tells us to be still.

So that was my prayer.

Lord, for now, I’m going to be still. I’m going to trust You. If there is something You want me to do, show me. And if You simply want me to wait and watch You provide, help me to do that.

The next morning, I got dressed for work.

Like many women, I have a tendency to try on more than one outfit before deciding what I’m actually going to wear. That morning, for some reason, I put on a pair of pants that I already knew I wasn’t going to wear.

Almost immediately, I felt something in the pocket.

I reached inside.

A twenty-dollar bill.

I just stared at it.

When you’ve spent months carefully accounting for every dollar, randomly forgetting about twenty dollars isn’t particularly likely.

And yet there it was.

Twenty dollars was enough.

It was enough gas to get me back and forth to work for the rest of the week.

I thanked the Lord.

Thank You, Jesus. You knew.

But somewhere in the back of my mind, another thought remained.

That’s this week, Lord. What about next week?

I still didn’t know.

I went to work determined that I would not focus on this problem unless I felt the Lord calling me to action.

It turned out to be an incredibly encouraging day. I had a wonderful conversation with my boss and received some unexpected encouragement about my work and my future there. I came home grateful.

But the practical question was still there.

What about next week?

That evening, I needed to take my daughter to gymnastics. I changed out of my work clothes and put on a comfortable pair of pants—pants I had worn recently.

And once again, I felt something in a pocket.

This time, the other side.

I reached in.

Another twenty-dollar bill.

I stood there holding it.

Not five dollars.

Not ten.

Twenty.

Again.

And suddenly, the tears came.

I looked up and said,

“Lord, You’re sending me love notes.”

Because in that moment, it wasn’t really about forty dollars.

It was about being seen.

It was about the God who holds the universe together reminding one of His children, in an ordinary bedroom with two forgotten twenty-dollar bills:

I heard you.

I know what you need.

I haven’t forgotten you.

We often look for God in the enormous things—the impossible diagnosis, the life-changing decision, the miracle that could only have come from Him.

And He is certainly there.

But I am learning to wait on Him in the small things, too.

In the seemingly insignificant details.

In just enough gas for another week.

In provision that arrives before we have figured out how to solve the problem ourselves.

In little reminders that say, I see you. I know. I’m here.

I still believe there are times when faith requires action. Sometimes God answers our prayers by showing us exactly what our next step should be.

But sometimes faith looks like resisting the urge to solve everything immediately.

Sometimes it looks like saying, Lord, I don’t know what happens next, but I know You do.

And then waiting.

I wouldn’t trade those uncomfortable days for easier ones.

I wouldn’t choose the uncertainty. I wouldn’t choose the worry. But I also wouldn’t want to lose what God allowed me to experience through it.

Because the greatest provision wasn’t forty dollars.

It was His nearness.

It was discovering, in a way I could not have learned simply by reading the words on a page, that God really does care about the details. I had believed that before. But in those moments, I experienced it.

Sometimes we ask God to remove the uncomfortable places in our lives when those very places become opportunities to know Him more intimately.

Had I immediately solved the problem myself, perhaps I would have had enough gas.

But I might have missed the love notes.

I don’t know how those two twenty-dollar bills ended up where they did.

But I know what they became when I found them.

Small, personal reminders from a very big God that no concern of His children is too small for His attention.

So perhaps today you are carrying something that feels small compared with the problems other people are facing.

Bring it to Him anyway.

Trust Him enough to leave room for Him to move.

And then keep your eyes open.

Your love note may be waiting somewhere you never thought to look.